Survival Cat

About Survival Cat

Survival Cat is rigged up, tac'd out, and ready to go. He's never set foot in the wild, but he's totally prepared for the arrival of the zombie apocalypse.

Outdoor Survival Training

First Venture into the Outside World (AKA: The Condo Balcony)

First Venture into the Outside World
(AKA: The Condo Balcony)

Let’s get one thing straight:  I’m a kept cat.  I’m accustomed to a certain level of luxury and status in my life.  I have two human servants that exist to pamper me.  I get treats feed to me by hand any time I request.  I have total command of the couch at all times, and most days, get the best spot on the Tempur-Pedic bed.

I’d finally gotten my humans properly trained and they decide to make me learn new skills.  Here’s what they’ve been putting me through:

Survival Training Level 1: Harness and Leash
One day I was minding my own business when my humans put this strange contraption on me.  It must have weighed 150 pounds.  I had to hunch down, get close to the ground, and walk very slowly while I built up the strength to support it on my body.  Once I was moving easier, they attached this long strap to it.  I don’t think they know what they are doing.  Don’t they know I’m a cat?  At least it’s better than the sweater they made me wear once.

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New Truck Research Thwarted

Lynx is upset with the time we spend on the Internet and is hereby throttling our bandwidth.

“I’m upset with the time my humans spend on the Internet.  I’m hereby throttling their bandwidth with my tiny paws.”

The endless new truck research continued today.

Every day my humans are feverishly researching trucks and debating tow packages and engine sizes.  They should instead be playing with me and feeding me extra treats!

If things don’t calm down around here soon, I will alert the ASPCA.

For now, I’m thwarting their continued research efforts at the source.